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Sunday, 2 May 2010

You know, I am a wrestler. Let me take you down

So I wanted my first blog piece to be something general – about me, my friends, about blogging and recent blogs I’ve read, something simple like that, to get my (non-existent, or so I think) creative juices flowing. Because that’s what I’m here for, right? In fact, I had even started a blog before, around a couple of years ago, but I was so busy that I just didn’t have time for it. So here’s a fresh start. Like I said, I first wanted to write about something very common. But I had the misfortune to have had the above line used on me this morning, which leads to this.

Several other examples come to mind. I was out shopping with a friend the other day at 1Utama, the mega-huge shopping mall just a bike ride away from my home. We just happened to halt in front of this oh-so-beautiful Channel gown (with a studded neckline that looked like real diamonds. Diamonds!), when this sweaty, slightly out-of-breath middle-aged Vietnamese man stepped right in front of us, between us and the dress. He was one of those men who could be good-looking if they took just a little trouble. He, however, had an air of someone who thinks of themselves as completely irresistible. It’s ridiculous that most people who think so are really the complete opposite.

He looked from me to her and back to me again, and then decided to address her directly, which either meant that she looks ‘easier’ than me, or that he just preferred her. I didn’t really care which one it was - while being overlooked is usually a slap in the face, in his case I was satisfied enough to just watch what was about to happen.

My friend looked at him with polite interest; like how you look at someone who tries to sell you items while you’re walking along the road, minding your own business. It turned out to be a mistake though – the man mistakes her politeness for complete lust, and says “If you think that dress would look good on you, you should try me”. I nearly burst out laughing.

There are a zillion tacky ones out there. Another friend of mine, KS, came up to me one day and started talking about some pick-up lines he had come across on the internet related to Math and Science. He’s an exceptionally brilliant student, so the fact that the pick-up lines were associated with academics was just very fitting, somehow. So he just comes up to me and says “I wish you were my Math homework, ‘coz I’d be hard and you’d do me on your desk.” 

Is there anyone in this world who actually thinks that pick-up lines are effective? Do guys actually get girls this way? Mind you, there are some lines which are romantic, and could make a girl go weak in the knees. But these will only work on an existing girlfriend (or boyfriend) - I just cannot for the life of me think of a woman who would fall for a man she has never met, just because he says something so ridiculously cheesy.

Or, well, maybe that’s just me.